Stuff You Think You Need 'R Us

I walked into my current nightmare today: Babies 'R Us. That place is a stinkin' nuthouse. I'm surrounded by pregnant people and people with small children! AHHHH!! I realize the luxury of getting to shop at a baby specialty store but for someone who does not want children (maybe ever) that place is stupid. They fill that place with crap that mothers think they need even though mothers have raised children for thousands of years without them e.g. Boppy pillows, Bumbos, shopping cart covers, video monitors, etc. I'm sure it's nice to have but it's all overpriced, unnecessary crap! It just follows the desired extravagance that we as Americans feel we deserve, our sense of entitlement. I'll try to stay off my soapbox, sorry! Maybe moving to Costa Rica for a year would be good for me. :)

OMG OMG OMG

I just about had a panic attack in my closet. It went from "ok, I've gain some weight" to "oh, holy freaking crap! none of my clothes fit how they should! i have nothing to wear out tonight. i hate myself for doing this! i can't go out tonight!" etc., etc. Needless to say, I'm not feeling good about myself and it's my own fault. I'll update tomorrow, and be warned, I plan to very honest with you and myself about what I look like and how it got this way in the past 3 months. Scary.

Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!!!!!

I HATE MY NEIGHBORS! Yes, I said HATE. I've already told Nathan when he gets backs that he has to say something to them. (I'm too much of a wimp!) It used to be just a girl and her small dog. The boyfriend would come to visit on weekends sometimes and bring his gigantic boxer with him. The dog ran around like crazy for a few days and drove me nuts but it was over soon enough and wasn't TOO bothersome. Now, he's moved in! The dogs run around like crazy all day, he walks around like a cow and between the two, my entire apartment shakes (including my floor) and it even makes my lightbulbs in ceiling blow out! OMG! It's not only during the day but super late at night as well. It gets better though... last night I was trying to go to sleep when I began to hear, well, rhythmic squeaking. Um, NO NO NO NO NO! I think she was faking it! And yes, I heard her. GROSS GROSS GROSS! It is time to move! Can I call the cops or something? I have to move, NOW!

DRAMA!

Warning: Calm venting to follow. I feel that if I say it here I can let it go and move on.

I'm pretty sure that everyone has work drama. I have avoided it for the past two years. Apparently my luck has run out. I feel that things started as soon as I was made Grade Level Chair for second grade. Hearing that members of your team are 'talking about you' is not only annoying but hurtful. Many problems can be taken care of if people would communicate with each other. If something isn't working or I have offended you, YOU HAVE TO LET ME KNOW! As for personality conflicts, I can't help you. I am not bothered if you think I have a comment for everything (um, like you don't) and it annoys you. I also cannot help you when you lie to myself and others and continually spread the drama by not keeping your mouth shut. You don't need to repeat every word someone says to you and take it out of context. So when you starting thinking that I have an attitude again because I'm not talking all the time work anymore it's because anything I say can be used against me and I refuse to give you ammo. I also do not want to be associated with any coworkers who belittle seven and eight year olds. Yes, the students are scared of you and you know it. Who cares if you are a great teacher of the curriculum and you have good scores. If you make children feel like crap what good are you doing? I cannot change that I was picked from GLC over you and your buddy. You are just like the last GLC and they wanted something different.

It's time for me to continue doing my job and living in my little bubble of a classroom. Dwell on the positive and not the negative. :) Better thoughts: I signed up for the Rodeo Run 10k today! It gives me something to look forward to and focus on after the half marathon in January. That day will be an attempt to set a PR. Yay for me!

So I'm prejudice

Prejudice- an unfavorable opinion or feeling formed beforehand or without knowledge, thought, or reason.

Everyone knows that they are prejudice toward something. Whenever Nathan is gone I have a lot of alone time to think about random things and watch TV and these thoughts have been inspired by a TV show on the Discovery Health Channel: "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant". Really?! There are that many people that this happens to that they can make a show about it? All of the chicks are fat.

(WHOA! Wait a minute! I just saw a commercial for a new show on MTV called 16 and Pregnant. WTF! I know you're going to show the struggles and all but come on! No wonder kids are growing up crazy these days. They watch crap like that on TV.)

Anyway, all of the chicks are fat. That's the only way it's hidden. I see it happen at school and although I feel bad that the larger girls don't really 'show' they at least know they're pregnant! Let's see, I haven't had a period in 9 months, I'm nauseous, what-the-heck-ever goes along with being pregnant, and I can't figure out what's wring with me. Wow. (This rant is also fueled by the fact that we're having two baby showers this week at school and I'm sick of giving my money away to people.)

So here's a list of 5 things that I'm prejudice toward:
- unhealthy, fat people that complain about being fat and don't do anything about it
- people that spend more than they have/make
- parents that have no discipline and let their kids do whatever they want
- people that let their dogs lick their lips and mouths GROSS! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mXiiL4X3uY Oh yes, it happens!
- loudmouthed idiots

I could name people all day but that would make me a hater! HA! You know there are certain groups of people that just irk you and that you can't stand!

I'm an idiot.

Krissy and I joined a new gym last week. Our other gym suddenly closed about 6 weeks ago and I felt a little lost. This was only a bummer and not a problem until the rain started this spring. No more running. Bad. This place is slightly ($5) more expensive than the other place but it has a spinning class that I'm excited about.
Well, when we signed up and I got a super sweet deal with Nathan (Buy one, get one), which he paid for (I love you!), the trainer guy gave us a free session. We went back last Friday and got measured for body fat, bad :(, and did a little work out. I was sore all weekend and was all excited about getting a trainer. The dude's flyer said that for the "90 day Transformation" you get 5 sessions per month = $289. Krissy and I both thought this was the total price for all 90 days. WRONG! I have no idea how much a trainer costs and I thought $20 an hour was reasonable. You just tell me what to do and I do it. Not exactly hard work, you know? It's $289 per month! Um, this dude is pulling down like $80k+ a year. WTF!
Anyway, I had to pull Krissy aside and freak out. I was going to pay for all of it when it was $289. I wanted to do it and wanted a buddy so I was doing it as a gift. I can't afford $867 for a trainer for three months. My take home pay is only $31.5k. I felt embarrassed to have to go back in the trainer dude's room and tell him that I couldn't do it, but sorry, I'm poor. I only make $21 an hour that I actually take home. I can't afford to pay you $60 and hour to work me out at the gym.

By the way: No more sweets until school is out. I'm putting myself through another lent of sorts. I've been out of control!

The Smell of Disappointment. . . and Success!

WARNING: Long story!

I had traumatic Easter morning. I was headed on my way to my mom and dad's for brunch and figured I'd throw out the trash. Not a good idea. The apartment has a trash compactor where the opening is 5 feet of the ground and it's about 2.5 by 3.5. (Hint: This is an important fact for later in the story.) So every time I thrown something away I have to hoist is into the air. I do this by getting momentum from swinging it in and letting go. Not a good idea today.

Backstory time: My Mammaw passed away this past February. She suffered from Alzheimer's and had not been doing well for some time. She willed me some of her necklaces. My favorite by far is a long gold chain with a heart pendant. I wear it rather often and feel very sentimental about it. Do you see where this is going?

So I swing my trash into the opening and feel a STRONG pull on my neck only to see the pendant from my grandmother's necklace going into the trash compactor. I'm surprised that the entire chain didn't break off since it pulled so hard. The pendant got caught on the ties you use to close the bag and went flying in. Needless to say, it was freakout time. I ran for my phone in the car, parked in the pull-through for the trash. I called mom and totally lost it. Complete hysterics. She thought I'd been in a car accident. This was one thing I valued from my grandmother and I'd just thrown it away. It's not like I;d lost it while I was out for the day and had no clue where to find it. It was IN THE TRASH. If I didn't get it out, it would end up in a landfill. Mom was trying to calm me down by telling me that Mammaw would have said to "Stop crying" and that "It was just a necklace". That was beside the point. I'm still in hysterics.

The compactor has an incline of about 5 feet where the trash slides down before landing on a ledge. When you close the door, the ledge retracts and the trash falls down before the ledge reappears and pushes the trash toward the back of the LARGE container. I'm praying that the pendant is on the ledge with the bag. I can't get in there by self without a boost and I'm in decent clothes. I spot a plastic chair on someones porch and after much debate decide to borrow it in hopes that they won't get too pissed. (I'm still crying and talking to mom on the phone.) I get up on the chair and peer in but can't see the pendant. Mom at this point whispers to Dad that, "We're going to have to go up there." I start crying even more that that will ruin brunch and Easter and that driving 40 minutes to help me is nuts. Well, she insisted because I was talking about how I could climb in without getting squished. I did need help getting back out and was going to be screwed if someone didn't see me in there and threw their trash in and closed the door on me. I also didn't want to leave the compactor to change clothes for fear that someone would close the door and my plan would be ruined. (Mom and Dad are in the car driving up to help or at least comfort me since Mom didn't think I could drive in that state.)

Then I guy comes out of his apartment (where I jacked the chair, oops) and asks if I need help because he saw me crying. He's very helpful and guards the door and fend off people throwing out their trash while I go throw on different clothes so I can climb climb in. He looked at me like I was nuts when I told him I was going in. Ha. I climbed in and got down to the ledge (about 2 feet wide) and moved my bag out of the way only to see nothing. Crap! It's fallen down into the bottom. I could climb down there but the ledge is out too far and I can't figure out how to slide in and out of the bottom without hurting myself. I climb back out, slightly covered in grossness, and I don't know what to do next. The guy then picked the lock on the back of the compactor so we could see if it fell out the side. Nope. (Mom and Dad are almost here.) I suggest that if I closed the door the ledge might retract just enough that I can slide down and have enough space to get to the bottom. He's not so sure it will work, but I'm convinced. I tell my parents will be there soon and thanks for all his help. He told me that if someone saw his daughter crying he hoped someone would help her too. Nice guy.

Mom and Dad appear and I pitch my plan to Dad. He's up for it since when you open the door the compactor stops for safety reasons. Apparently people aren't meant to crawl inside! After crawling in and pushing gross bags of trash to the back of the compactor for about 5 minutes I'm repeating to myself that "It's just a necklace." My arms and legs are covered in wet gross and I'm about to give up when I moved another bag and I spotted it! THANK THE LORD! I start crying again. I crawl out just losing it! Mom is hugging me and don't hug back for fear of getting something on her. She reminded me that persistence pays off and that I was meant to find it. I took the nice guy's chair back and knocked on his door to show him my find. I went back to throw away the 5-6 people's trash that has piled up while I was having my ordeal. Yes, I had to explain why I was crying to all of them as they left their trash there.

Dad went home and Mom came back to the apt. with me to wait while I washed up and got dressed again. She rode with me down to Dickinson and we eventually eat brunch, an hour and a half after our planned time.

Yes, I was next to/in a trash compactor freaking out for and hour and a half this morning. In the car mom and I talked about why I lost it so badly. It was like losing MAmmaw all over again. The item I treasured so much was gone. I felt so stupid for what happened and wanted to go back and re-do my mistake. I plan on taking it to a jeweler in the morning to have it fixed and continue wearing it. I'll just have to make sure it tucked into my shirt next time I go to throw the trash out!

If I've hung out with you lately you've probably seen the necklace.

You can see where the loop just broke apart.